STYLING A LIFE
- Joanne Mullin
- Mar 28
- 8 min read
Real style comes from knowing what we love when we see it, and figuring out how to bring more of whatever that magic is into our day-to-day lives.
Today I am thinking about how we, as women with a lot of roles to play, can bring more style and sophistication into our lives: the way we dress and how our home looks and feels, and the influence we can have on others. With all of the emphasis in the fashion world on the importance of influencers, I have been thinking about what truly makes someone an "influencer."
As an observer and an admirer of many inspiring women who have influence and a certain commanding panache, I have found myself trying to emulate the things I admire in them and look for new ways to bring my own sense of style, elegance and grace into my life. I also have a few things to say about the potential every woman has for being more of who she truly is. We are all influencers, after all.
Focusing on bringing your personal style into your life is about a lot of things: it can be how you design and furnish your home environment, your entertaining style, the people you choose to surround yourself with, and what you choose to do for your work and how you relax and recharge. It also has a great deal to do with how you dress and present yourself to the world. But mostly, I believe that it is all about who you believe yourself to be.
What women in your life are especially inspiring to you? What is it about them to you admire -- their sense of style or their self-assured confidence? And, how do you think you can become more of the kind of woman you aspire to be?
How would you describe the woman, either real or imagined, who would be your ideal style influencer? Let me tell you about mine:
The woman I most admire and want to emulate has an appreciation for details and understands the importance of contrasts and unexpected juxtapositions. All of her efforts to create a pleasing environment, or to look a certain way, are her way of setting the stage and eliminating distractions with the goal of creating the conditions for relaxed and meaningful human interaction.
Her professional career and social life require her to show up, and look good doing it, which takes a lot of energy. She’s perfected the image she wants to present, and just seems to make it look easy. Whether dressed up or down, she is predictably authentic and her look seems effortless, not contrived.
Her associates often wonder how she always seems to look put together and in perfect control of her life and environment. Of course, her life is as stressful and demanding as anyone's-- well maybe not quite as stressful. But it's not easy being so visible. At times, I imagine that she just wants to fade into not being noticed or having to live up to all of the expectations she believes others have of her. What she may not realize is that most of the expectations she feels she needs to meet are of her own making.
When I observe a woman who seems to have it all together, I imagine that she must have stylists and aestheticians, makeup artists, hair stylists, nail technicians and masseuses booked weeks in advance. She probably has a trainer, a housekeeper, a wardrobe consultant, a tailor, a gardener, a personal assistant, and an accountant. She probably also has a decorator and a handyman on call, as well. She certainly must have a lot of help. I imagine that she has the adequate staff for living the good life and looking good doing it. But then I tell myself that that could not possibly be the case; that she must not be as together as she seems; that she must be learning as she goes, just like the rest of us.
When it comes to how she dresses, it's apparent that one of her strategies is to have a wardrobe that consists of interchangeable classic separates in a variety of silhouettes. She wears mostly solid colors; neutrals with an assortment of colorful, artistic statement pieces that provide the finishing touch. Some of these pieces have been in her closet for many seasons. She is a master at combing separates and adding a statement piece outer layer and the appropriate accessories. She rarely wears the same combination twice. How she puts an outfit together is always a creative expression of who she wants to be in any given situation.
Her secret weapon is her statement piece outer layers and her absolute mastery of editing the accessories. She has a collection of jackets, cardigans, vests, that she layers with blouses and shirts, and a lot of tank tops. She loves to mix patterns and textures, and loves a statement piece scarf, but is also very careful to not overdo any look.
Like Coco herself used to say, “Always take away one accessory before you go out the door.” Some of the so-called rules of fashion are hard to break, though. Rules like when it’s appropriate to wear white, or the rule about purses and shoes needing to match have to be consciously avoided, especially when It comes to accessories. Savvy editing is a skill that can make the difference between a great relaxed, cohesive look and something that seems contrived.
You are a magical combination of logic and contradictions; consistency tempered with spontaneity and humor along with a lot of little nuances along the way. How do you package that magic?
Knowing how to put outfits together is rooted in a certain level of self confidence. Being sure of yourself and quelling your inner critic are ultimately the secret formula for achieving authentic personal style. Most likely, knowing what looks good on you is something you inherently know. On the other hand, feeling comfortable in your own skin and trusting your own judgement is an acquired skill. When you take the time and energy to put a little more effort into the finishing touches without going too far, your natural ease and simple elegance will inform your wardrobe choices. With practice, you find the sweet spot and learn to trust your instincts while also being open to trying new things once in a while.
Getting dressed can become one of the favorite parts of your day. That’s when you decide who you are going to be that day and what you are going to be capable of achieving.
It’s important to allow yourself to have a little fun with bring more style into your life. That moment when you grab something out of your closet is when you set the stage for which version of yourself you are going to show the world that day. You are predetermining your experience; setting the parameters for how you will see yourself and how others will see you. It is the moment of truth.
When you wear something that is flattering and elevated, yet comfortable, elegant and relaxed, you automatically shift into a more self-assured version of yourself. And, on days when you feel excited about getting dressed and have an extra burst of energy and confidence, you get dressed with a carefree spirit, and walk out the door at the top of your game.
You bring your aesthetic into all areas of your life. It’s not just what you wear and how you look, it’s about the self-confidence you naturally convey in all the things you do. It's about the way you carry yourself and interact with others.
True style is just tapping into the essence of who you are, and not being afraid to add some pizazz to your look while not looking overly planned or contrived in any way. If you look like you’re trying too hard, you’re not there yet. Imagine yourself as having it all together, and you will actually convince others, and even yourself, that you are following a very well thought-out plan.
Your level of self-esteem and confidence informs how you dress: how you define your style — not just your appearance, but also your demeanor and how you show up in the world.
As a designer of statement pieces that are flattering to women of all ages and sizes, my favorite thing to experience is watching a woman try on one of my garments and observe how she reacts to seeing herself in a full length three-panel mirror. At first she just stares, as she takes it all in. Then she pulls the garment around herself, maybe ties the belt, puts her hands in the pockets and does a little twirl. The transformation is instantaneous. It’s almost as if she lights up and comes to life. When she sees herself in the mirror and turns around and sees herself from every angle, it is love at first sight as she sees herself in a new way.
It gives me great satisfaction to be able to see the transformative power of wearing something that is beautiful and flattering. Especially if a woman doesn’t have a perfect figure. I started out making garments for myself because I was frustrated with trying to find things in retail stores that were flattering and on trend. I soon learned that I was not alone in that quest.
I want to help women see themselves for the incredible beauties that they are. I want them to see their own relevance; their own power; their own unique style. It's not about hiding behind your clothes; it's about accenting your beauty and skimming over your flaws.
I want that for you, too. I want to help you step into that new version of yourself that you’ve been protecting; even hiding. Your personal style is there. It’s just waiting for you to have the audacity to express it. I would love to help you do that. When you give yourself permission to shine, you will come into your own beauty and power and be who you were born to be.
Real style comes from knowing what we love when we see it, and figuring out how to bring more of whatever that magic is into our day-to-day lives. Whether elevating our home environments or updating our wardrobes, we bring our personal style to everything we do. What we love and how we bring more of that into our lives will not only open the door to adding more satisfaction and richness to our own lives, but also be an inspiration to others.
I view my mission or purpose is to help women in all walks of life to discover their own inner beauty and give themselves permission to be all they were born to be. To that end, J.Mullin Apparel donates a good share of its proceeds to not-for-profit organizations that help women recover from abusive situations and addictions; organizations that have programs for helping women get a second chance in life. It is a great joy to be a part of what others are doing to help these women who truly need and deserve a transformation. Our customers help make this possible, and we are grateful for their generosity in helping us support these causes.
Coming this Summer: Our new video series,
“Women of Influence.”
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